If you’ve ever watched a family member or a friend pack out their entire life into cardboard boxes while juggling kids, a job hunt, and a service member who’s already half-checked-out mentally for the new duty station… you know. PCS season is a lot.
And “let me know if you need anything” doesn’t really cut it. Most milspouses won’t ask. They’re too busy, too tired, or too used to just figuring it out themselves.
So here’s a big list of real, specific ways to help a PCSing family, broken down by timeline, effort level, and budget. Bookmark this one. You’ll want it the next time someone in your circle gets orders.
Low Effort, High Impact (Things You Can Do From Your Couch)
⚪️ Send a “thinking of you” text on a random hard day, not just moving day.
⚪️ Make a PCS playlist for the road trip
⚪️ Send a DoorDash or UberEats gift card for hotel nights when nobody wants to leave the room or for when you don’t have time to grab dinner in the middle of packing
⚪️ Send a digital gift card so the kids can pick out a movie or show to download for the drive/flight
⚪️ Send a gift card for snacks they can grab before hitting the road
⚪️ Check in daily and gently hold them accountable to their moving to-do list (sometimes you just need someone to ask “Did you call the vet for records yet?”)
⚪️ Look up the coffee shops (or restaurants or shopping) near the new base and send over a list of must-try spots
Before the Move: Help Them Prep
⚪️ Offer to help sort, label, or pack non-essentials weeks in advance
⚪️ Help research the new duty station: housing, schools, pediatricians, gyms, etc.
⚪️ Offer to drive one of their vehicles if they have two cars or not enough drivers of to have an extra set of hands in the car with the kids
⚪️ If the milspouse is flying with the kids and the other parent is driving, offer to ride along for company or driving shifts
⚪️ Going OCONUS? Help research pet import requirements, passports, or what household goods weight limits actually mean in real life
⚪️ Help create a “moving binder” with all of the important documents in one place
For the Kids: Before They Go
⚪️ Plan a proper goodbye hangout, not just a quick goodbye on the driveway
⚪️ Create a memory book or have friends write letters they can open later
⚪️ Give them a small “piece of home” to take with them (a photo, a friendship bracelet, or something along these lines)
⚪️ Ask them how they’re feeling about the move. Don’t assume they’re fine because they’re not saying much.
⚪️ Help them stay connected: set up a group chat, planned video calls or Marco Polos, or a pen pal system with friends back home. The Mission: Stay In Touch Postcards are a great way to help kids stay connected with friends, and they are available in my shop!
⚪️ Make them a going away card signed by their friends or classmates
Pack-Out Days: This Is the Hard Part
⚪️ Watch the kids (and/or pets) while the movers are there. Pack-out day is loud, stressful, and not the place for an active toddler or baby
⚪️ Bring food. Paper plates. Don’t make them think about feeding anyone
⚪️ Help with the stuff the movers won’t touch: cleaning, trash runs, returning library books, donation drop-offs, etc.
⚪️ Offer to do a final walkthrough or help with the move-out inspection
⚪️ Bring coffee the morning the movers arrive. Just show up with it.
The Drive/Travel Days
⚪️ Make a “snackle box” for the road if you’re local (snack divided up tackle-box style — kids love these!)
⚪️ Send a road trip care package: snacks, activities for the kids, a gift card for gas or food along the way
⚪️ Check in during long drive days, especially if the spouse is making the trip solo with kids
⚪️ If you’re local to a stopover city, offer a place to crash or shower, or meet them for dinner
⚪️ OCONUS move? A care package for the flight (headphones, snacks, something new to keep little hands busy) goes a long way
Arrival & Unpacking: The Other Hard Part
⚪️ If you’re at the new duty station, offer to watch the kids while they go to job interviews, base appointments, or house hunting
⚪️ Help unpack the kitchen first. Nobody can function without it
⚪️ Bring meals for the first few days
⚪️ Help hang curtains, build furniture, or do the stuff that takes two people
⚪️ Drive them around to get oriented: commissary, schools, good coffee, etc.
⚪️ For OCONUS arrivals, help them figure out grocery shopping, local transportation, or just translate a menu if applicable
⚪️ Drop off a “first night” basket: paper plates, toilet paper, coffee, snacks (you know, the stuff that’s always packed in the wrong box)
For the Kids: After They Arrive
⚪️ Help them find activities to get plugged in fast: sports, clubs, youth programs on base, Scouts, etc.
⚪️ If you have kids the same age, set up a play date before school even starts
⚪️ Check in on how the new school transition is going, not just the house and unpacking
⚪️ Remind them it’s normal to miss the old place AND like the new one at the same time
⚪️ Send a small “welcome to your new room” gift, something to make their new space feel like their own faster
Don’t Forget the Service Member
A PCS isn’t just hard on the family unpacking. The service member is often reporting to a new unit, learning new systems, and meeting a new chain of command, all while their family is in chaos at home.
⚪️ Check in with them directly, not just through their spouse
⚪️ If they’re geo-baching or arriving early without the family, make sure they have a meal, a place to do laundry, or just someone to grab dinner with
⚪️ Help them get plugged into the new unit socially if you have connections there
⚪️ Recognize that “I’m fine, I have to be” doesn’t mean they are, and give them a safe space to expand on that more if they are comfortable doing so
The Weeks After (When Everyone Forgets to Check In)
The boxes are unpacked but the adjustment isn’t over.
⚪️ Keep checking in for weeks, not just days
⚪️ Invite them to things even if you think they’re “too busy” or “still settling in”
⚪️ If you’re far away, set a recurring reminder to check in weekly or monthly for the first 3-6 months
The Bottom Line
PCS season doesn’t end when the truck pulls away. The support that matters most is the kind that follows a family to the next place, on every end, for every person in the house, for as long as it takes.
Know a family PCSing soon? Send them this blog, and if you’ve got more ideas we should add, drop them in the comments below. We’re building this list together.