Every Friday, somewhere in the back of my mind, I think about RED Friday.
Do I always remember to wear red? Honestly, no. Life gets busy, laundry doesn’t always cooperate, and some Fridays I’m just trying to get everyone out the door on time. But the intention is there, and more importantly, the awareness is there.
Here’s what I never want to forget, though: military members are deploying right now. Not just during wartime, not just when it makes the news, but constantly. And while they’re gone, their families are home managing everything alone. Those families deserve to be remembered every single week, not just when it’s convenient or top of mind.
That’s what RED Friday is about. And whether you wear red every single Friday or you’re just learning what it means today, I’m glad you’re here.
What is RED Friday?
RED stands for Remember Everyone Deployed. It started as a grassroots movement among military families and has grown into a weekly tradition observed by military communities across the country. Every Friday, people wear red as a visible reminder that deployment doesn’t pause, life doesn’t stop, and the families left behind deserve to feel supported, not just during homecomings and holidays, but every single week.
Here’s the thing most civilians don’t realize: military members deploy and leave their home base constantly. It’s not just wartime. It’s training exercises, unaccompanied tours, TDYs, deployments that last six, nine, twelve months or longer. And while they’re gone, their spouses and families are home managing everything such as the kids, the cars, the broken appliances, the medical appointments, the school pickups, the bedtime routines, the loneliness, and the very specific kind of anxiety that comes with loving someone who is somewhere you can’t reach them.
RED Friday is one small, visible way to say: we see you. We haven’t forgotten. You’re not doing this alone.
Free RED Friday Wallpapers
I created a set of six free phone wallpapers so you can carry that reminder with you every day, and especially every Friday. The set includes a red checker heart pattern, a gingham “Until They All Come Home” design, red rainbows, a bold RED Friday repeat pattern, an “until they all come home” heart circle pattern, and a red bow and script design that honestly might be my favorite thing I’ve ever made. They’re also completely free. Save them, share them, set one as your lock screen every Friday.
👉 Download the RED Friday Wallpapers here
Practical Ways to Support a Deployed Family
If you have a neighbor, friend, coworker, or someone in your community going through a deployment, here are some genuinely helpful things you can do. Not the vague “let me know if you need anything” kind of help, but the actual, specific, show-up kind.
♥️ Bring food. Not once. Regularly. A deployment can last the better part of a year. One meal drop-off is kind, but a standing offer. “I’m making dinner on Thursdays, I’ll always make extra” is a life-changing sentence a military spouse or family member can hear when their loved one is deployed.
♥️ Offer to help with the kids. After-school pickups, a Saturday morning playdate so the solo parent can sleep in or run errands alone, a movie night that gives them two hours of quiet. These are gifts.
♥️ Do the things they don’t ask for help with. Mow the lawn. Shovel the driveway. Notice when something looks like it needs doing and just do it. Deployed families often don’t ask because they don’t want to be a burden. Take that decision away from them.
♥️ Check in consistently. A quick text on a random Tuesday that just says “thinking about you” matters more than most people realize. Don’t wait for them to reach out. They’re tired. You reach out. I have a great Instagram post about 10 different texts you can send someone surviving deployment. This really helps when you want to reach out, but don’t know how to best communicate your love and support. You can find that post here.
♥️ Remember the important dates. The deployment anniversary. The halfway point. The days when the service member was supposed to be home for something and isn’t. Those days are hard. Acknowledge them.
♥️ Don’t make it weird. Deployed families don’t always want to talk about the deployment. Sometimes they just want a normal conversation, a normal night out, a normal friendship. Follow their lead.
For the Military Spouses and Families in the Trenches
If you’re the one currently living a deployment, first of all, you’re doing an incredible job, even on the days it doesn’t feel like it. Especially on those days.
Here are a few things that actually help when you’re in the middle of it:
♥️ Build your people before you need them. The best time to build your support system is before the deployment starts. Get connected with your FRG, your spouses’ group, your neighbors, the people at your gym or your church or your kids’ school. The more people who know your situation, the more people can show up when things get hard.
♥️ Give yourself permission to not be okay sometimes. Deployment is hard. Pretending it isn’t doesn’t make you stronger. It just makes you more exhausted. Find at least one person you can be honest with.
♥️ Create routines that feel normal. Kids especially thrive on routine during deployments. Friday pizza night. Sunday morning pancakes. A standing FaceTime with grandparents. The little anchors matter.
♥️ Stay connected without obsessing. Communication during deployment has gotten so much better than it used to be, which is wonderful, but also sometimes a trap. Try to find a communication rhythm that feels connecting rather than anxious. Some families do daily check-ins; others do every few days. Do what works for yours.
♥️ Celebrate your own wins. You fixed the thing. You handled the thing. You got through the hard week. That deserves acknowledgment, even if you’re the only one giving it. Write it down. Tell a friend. Let yourself feel proud.
♥️ Find your community. Whether that’s in person on base or online in a Facebook group or Instagram community, there are other people who understand exactly what you’re going through. You don’t have to figure this out alone.
Shop RED Friday
If you want to wear your support every Friday, I’ve got you covered. Here are some of my favorite RED Friday pieces from the shop:
♥️ The RED Friday Bow Shirt is one I’m particularly proud of. It features hand lettering on the front with a white bow, and “Until They All Come Home” on the back. Available in t-shirt, long sleeve, and crewneck styles in Comfort Colors and Bella Canvas.
♥️ The “Until They All Come Home” shirt features a circle and heart design in white on red that’s clean, bold, and meaningful. Available in everything from a t-shirt to a hoodie.
♥️ The RED Friday Adult T-Shirt and Long Sleeve features a flag design with “Until They All Come Home.’ This is a classic that works every Friday, all year long.
♥️ And for the tiniest members of your military family, the RED Friday Infant Onesie and Youth T-Shirt means even the littlest ones can Remember Everyone Deployed.
♥️ If you want something smaller, the water-resistant military-themed stickers are a great option for water bottles, laptops, and car bumpers. These serve as a little reminder that travels everywhere you do.
Every Friday is RED Friday.
Deployment doesn’t take weeks off. It doesn’t pause for holidays or birthdays or hard days. And the families navigating it don’t get a break either.
So every Friday, put on something red. Set a wallpaper. Send a text to a military family you know. Remember everyone deployed, and remember the people back home who love them. They’re worth remembering every single week. ♥️